Spider Riders Badfic Attack
by TL-chan
Summary: It's Spider Riders like you've never seen it before... and that's a good thing. A collection of stories.
1. Mary Sues Love Hunter

**AN:** Okay, let me explain. I love reading fanfic, but in the various fandoms I've been in (not just Spider Riders), most of the stuff I've seen makes me want to stab myself repeatedly to take away the scarring from what I've read. But perhaps, the reason why people write bizarre fics that make no sense in canon is just because it's fun. I've been known to write awful pieces myself. I just don't put them on the internet to torture others with. But because people do post this stuff, it just asks for parodying. Some of these fics have been posted in other places on the web, but I feel like spreading them here, because I'm just bored.

I'll begin with the Mary Sue parody. This was originally titled "The Worst SR fic Ever." It's not meant to be taken seriously at all and certainly doesn't reflect my actual opinions. I tried not to make it too insulting, but really it is, I guess. All spelling and grammar errors are **completely intentional**. I'm also taking on a false user-name here, so pretend my penname is "Amethist-RoseCrystalSakura."

* * *

Untitled By "Amethist-RoseCrystalSakura"

Disclaimer: I do own Spider Riders. Muwahahaha! SERVE MY MASTER UNITY

AN: Yes, that's an in-joke. You're not supposed to get it. Hail, Master Unity! Oh, and Hunter is mine!!1111one!!one He's just so kawaii and so is Lumen. I lyk hate Buguese n Mantid.11

The Spider Riders, Hunter the kawaii spiky red head boy with the emerald orbs (who iz datng Stags in this fic btw becuz yaoi is lyk so kawaii too,) Aqune, Sparkle, Magma, Lumen and Igneus (I lyk think Igneus and Aqune are so hawt together) were on their next mission. Yeah, I left out Corona. She sux cuz she tries to take my Hunter and now she joined with the Invectids. If your wondering, My awesome OC isn't dating Hunter in this fic because I wanted to put her with Lumen. She's with the Spider Riders too. Her name is Amethist-Rose Crystal Sakura. She has sparkling pink hair and blue stripes in it. Her Spider is also pink and blue but also yellow and red and purple and her name is Rainbow. Isn't that creativ?

Anyway, Hunter continued on. He had to drag the others out because they weren't being responsible enough. But he was a great Spider Rider and hero and when they all saw his courage they were all ready to go on their exciting adventure. Hunter was flirting with Amethist-Rose even though she's Lumen's girl and was showing her his My Space (by the way, my account is xxHuntersGurl002xx. You should add me n we can be friends.) Lumen got jealous but then he said "Hunter, you're so wonderful that I know you're not doing anything bad." (An: maybe Lumen likes Hunter too. That would be hot.) Then he went away and put on his CDs. He likes to listen to My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park.

Back at the computer, Hunter closed the My Space and his Naruto screensaver could be seen. He has Naruto x Sasuke becuz it's lyk kawaii.  
AN: I thought about making him have Sephiroth, but I put up a poll on my My Space and my friends said to use NaruSasu.

But anyway, this all happend b4 and now they are on an adventure. The evil Invectids like Mantid and Corona showed up.

When Aqune saw Buguese she got mad becuz he was so mean to her. She wanted to fight him and kill him. Buguese tried to put an evil mask on Aqune and make her evil again but it didn't work cuz Aqune was too good and then she killed him.  
(AN: People who rite Buguese and Aqune together are sickos! It's wrong like Hunter and Corona. Ewww!)

Corona n Beerain who were lyk the bestest friends!!111 attack Hunter but Stags jumped in the way to save him. Hunter glomps Stags but realize he was dyin. Hunter started 2 cry but Stags said it waz alright cuz' he got 2 c Hunter's kawaii face one more time and then he dies 2. (AN: Stags has good taste. My Hunter is kawaii.)

Then Meanwhile Princess Sparkle met with Corona's Spider who didn't switch sides because Venus is cool, unlike Corona who sux. Sparkle is in luv with Venus and they kissed too. It was really cute. (By the way, Kawaii means cute. I've been using it all along because Japanese lyk pwns!!1!!111!!eleventy-one.)

Next, Hunter sees Corona is with Mantid and now they're in love and he's like "Eww… but Mantid's so evil."

"Muwahahahaha!" Corona laughs. "Mantid is so much better than you!"

Now that Stags is dead, Amethist-Rose is happy that Hunter is single. "Lumen, I'm breaking up with you," she said. "I'm sorry." Then she goes to kiss Hunter. "Don't cry Hunter," she says. Hunter is still crying because Stags died. Then Amethist-Rose gets mad because the Invectids made Hunter cry and she kills Corona and Beerain and the evil Mantid (oh and Grasshop. I 4got about him but he's a Invectid so who cares?).

The end. Now give me 500 reviews if you want to c the next chappie. Amethist-Rose x Hunter 4eva!


	2. The Dreaded High School AU

**AN**: next, comes a one-shot snippet of the ever-frightening high school AU. Also, I used Brade instead of Quake, just because I'm more used to it. And everyone's the same age (except Brade and Mantid), because I've never seen a high school fic using logic before.

It was just the start of another normal week at school. Of course, first period just had to be calculus, the most torturous period of the day. At least the doom could be over with quickly, though. Despite the fact that he was failing, and badly, Hunter was feeling optimistic about the class. After all, his grandpa had told him to never give up, so he was sure he'd find some way to pass.

He sat down at his desk at the front of the room, waiting for his friends to arrive. He had amazingly gotten there early today, wanting some extra time to prepare for the test.

"Hunter!" he heard someone call soon after. Corona had entered the room and sat down next to him.

"Oh, hi Corona," Hunter said. "Um… I need help. I'll definitely never give up, but I don't get this class."

"W-well… neither do I," Corona admitted, blushing.

"Okay," said Hunter with disappointment. "Maybe I'll ask Aqune. She's good at everything."

"Oh, well I do know some things. I can still help you," responded Corona, trying not to show her annoyance.

"Sure," said Hunter, taking out a ditto from his backpack. "How do I do this?"

Corona glanced at the ditto and then stared blankly for a moment. However, she was saved, as Magma and Igneous entered the classroom.

"Magma, I thought you had suspension," Hunter commented.

"You mean for that fight I got into with Stags the other day?" he asked. "Well, I asked Principal Brade-sama really, really nicely if there was any way he could ever forgive me, because it was so horrible to be on his bad side and he said to stop following him around after school everyday. It was a great sacrifice, but I'll only do it 4 days a week now. I really need to look up his address so I can see him on the weekends."

"Um… yeah," Igneous said, moving over towards Hunter. He bent over and whispered into his ear. "Maybe you shouldn't have asked that. It's more than I needed to know."

"Yeah, sorry," Hunter whispered back.

Sparkle then came into the room, looking frustrated.

"Lumen won't get out of bed!" she stated. "I was nearly late because I had to try and wake him up. He's going to be late again."

"I'm not surprised," Corona said.

"Well if he gets in trouble, I'm sure I can get Principal Brade-sama to spare him," Magma offered.

"Yeah, because he's scared of you," Hunter said under his breath.

As they all continued talking, other students entered the room and Hunter hadn't had the chance to get any studying in. Among them, of course, were the less liked in Hunter's circle of friends. They tended to travel in a pack, possibly because they were rather different from the other students. There was Stags, of course, who most students feared due to his irrational behavior, and possibly for the fact that he was a giant stag beetle. Grasshop, who wasn't exactly treated well by even his friends, and who coincidentally was most tolerable to Hunter's group. In fact, he was quite friendly with Sparkle. Then there was Buguese, the leader really, and the one who was constantly trying to pick fights with Hunter. For some odd reason, he always called him by his full name too. There was also Beerain, who seemed to exist only to try and cling onto Buguese as often as possible. She could be disturbingly emotional, especially when Buguese wouldn't act lovingly to her in return, so most people tried to stay away from her. And then, there was Aqune. She was human, and so it was strange that she hung around with them. Hunter and Magma in particular had convinced the others that she was somehow a prisoner of sorts, so they wished they could save her. She was usually quite nice to Hunter too. This tended to cause Buguese to increase his hatred toward Hunter.

It was unfortunate that Buguese sat right behind Hunter. He would often use this opportunity to glare at him behind his back. The only reason Hunter knew this is because Aqune, who sat next to Buguese, had told him.

Soon enough, an ominous feeling spread across the room. This always meant one thing. The teacher had arrived. The green-skinned man stepped into the room and sat down at his desk. After laughing to himself for a moment (the students had all learned never to question why he did this from time to time) he began to take attendance.

"So Lumen is late again?" he asked.

"That's right, Mantid-sama," Buguese spoke up. "You should punish him more harshly this time, or let me do it."

"That won't be necessary," said Mantid. "I see him coming now."

Lumen dragged himself into the room, half asleep, and sat down in the back corner. He proceeded to go back to sleep at his desk.

"You know," Mantid began "You have the lowest grades in class, Prince Lumen. You really don't want to know how I deal with failure."

Lumen snored in reply.

Turning away, as he didn't really care, Mantid passed out the exam papers. It was then when Hunter realized that he'd never gotten to study.

"No!" he said out loud, unintentionally.

"Hunter!" Corona yelled after hearing this, wondering what was wrong.

"Please do not interrupt class!" Mantid demanded to both of them. They both nodded in acknowledgement.

The students began taking the test. As expected, it was enormously challenging, even for those who had studied and knew the material. It was a big mystery as to why they even needed to know this, especially Hunter who wanted to be a great hero someday, not a mathematician. When the period was nearly over, Hunter had realized that he hadn't answered a single problem. There were cross-outs and other markings all over his paper, but nothing useful.

"Never give up," he thought to himself, even though he saw the clock. However, he was distracted when a piece of paper hit him in the back of the head. Really not interested in the test, he picked it up and uncrumbled it. It read "Hunter Steele. I challenge you behind the school at 3:00." It wasn't signed, but Hunter didn't even need to guess who it was from.

Suddenly, the bell rang. Looking at his empty paper, Hunter quickly began to fill in random answers before handing his paper to Mantid. If he was lucky, he could've at least guessed one correctly. Never give up.

As Hunter got up to leave the room, he noticed Aqune going out. Wanting to talk to her, as he didn't get nearly enough time to do so, he went up to her. "Hi, Aqune," he said.

"Oh. Hello, Hunter," replied Aqune.

"I wanted to ask you what you're doing hanging around the Insectors," Hunter asked. "That jerk Buguese gave me a letter saying that he was going to fight me and he didn't even have a reason for it this time. You shouldn't hang out with people like that."

"I know he did," Aqune replied. "I saw him write it before, after I was finished with my test."

"You tend to watch him a lot," Hunter commented.

"I do?" Aqune asked.

"Well, yeah," Hunter replied. "You were also watching him give me dirty looks."

Buguese then showed up. "Hunter Steele," he said, and looked at him hatefully.

"Bye Hunter," Aqune replied and went over to Buguese, who quickly covered her up with his cape and then turned to glare at Hunter again.

"Oh no, I'm gonna be late!" Hunter realized, running to his last class.

Lumen then stepped out of calculus, finally done with his nap. "Hey Hunter, what did I miss?" he asked.

"Only a big test," Hunter replied. "But now we're both going to be late."

"Oh," said Lumen, not really caring. "I always sleep in calculus, because there's not enough cute girls. English is better."

The day continued and everyone went through their classes. They didn't all share courses with each other at all times, but even when they did, the rest of this day was unusually quiet and routine. That is, until 3:00.

Hunter went of course, to accept his challenge. He wasn't just going to give up. The others all joined him, Magma included, as this was going to be his one day of not stalking Principal Brade.

Buguese and the other Insectors were waiting there and Aqune as well.

"It's finally time for you to meet your end, Hunter Steele," Buguese announced.

"You'll never win. Buguese is the greatest," Beerain stated.

"You talk tough, but let's see if you can live up to that, Insector," Igneous replied.

Beerain just glared at him, but didn't really want to fight. There was no way she could win if Buguese was busy, because then he couldn't help her.

"Buguese, I'll win!" Hunter declared. "I'll never give up."

"Hunter," Corona said with worry.

"We'll see about that, Hunter Steele!" Buguese shouted and then charged at him.

Hunter tried to block the attack. He then made an attack of his own, but it was easily blocked. He was strong, but unfortunately Buguese was stronger.

"Why don't we finish this?!" Buguese yelled, attacking harder.

"I'll never give up!" Hunter shouted, blocking the attack.

"No!" Buguese said in frustration, attacking again.

"Hunter!!" Corona yelled.

"Stop right now!" came a voice. Because no one expected to hear it, both Buguese and Hunter paused in surprise. A figure then stepped closer.

"Principal Brade-sama!" Magma exclaimed.

Shivering slightly, Principal Brade approached Hunter and Buguese. "You know there's no fighting allowed on school property," he scolded.

"Sorry," Hunter said. "But Buguese decided to challenge me for no reason."

"I had a good reason," Buguese argued. "This worthless human just would never understand."

"Yeah, then tell me!" Hunter responded.

Without a word, Buguese went closer to Hunter with a menacing look. He was stopped though when Aqune grabbed him by the arm and attempted to pull him back.

"Aqune, what are you doing?!" Buguese asked.

"Let's not fight," she said. Realizing what she was doing, she then started blushing.

"I'm in the middle of a battle," Buguese replied. "Hunter Steele must be defeated."

"You're also at the start of a suspension," Brade said. "And Hunter, so are you for fighting back. And Stags, I never got to punish you from your fight the other day, but you're also suspended.

"Hunter," Corona said, unhappy that she wouldn't be able to see Hunter in school for the next few days.

"Oh, and another thing," Brade said. "Lumen, I was also going to suspend you for sleeping through class all the time. Although, that's probably not a punishment for you, since you'll just use the time to sleep. Therefore, I give you detention for a week!"

"Nooooo!" said Lumen.

Brade began to laugh sadistically, thinking of ways to get everyone else in trouble.


End file.
